I am not service, 2012

began as a meditation on and critical exploration of my many years in the service industry. After a year in Phoenix, I returned to my former bartending position in San Francisco for the summer of 2011. During this experience, I began to view my duties and interactions more critically. I became preoccupied with the porous border between the performance of authentic self and service, and by extension, the structural rules governing the behavior of the service sector worker. So, the practice of earning a living evolved into a research practice intent on measuring the distance between the authentic self and service self.

In developing the piece, I began to parse other threads of inquiry through active performance practice. Inspired by reading Judith Butler, Michel Foucault, Jessica Benjamin, and Eve Kosofski Sedgwik, I wove threads of my own queer identity into the piece. Through discerning the analogy between the service identity imposed by the rules governing service sector work and sexual identity imposed by society, I began to synthesize these experiences into a cohesive narrative, manifesting in the performance of sequences of absurd or impossible tasks. Through this inquiry, situations and characters emerged as expressions of my own identity.